Monday, August 18, 2014

an absurd morning

Need to tell,

This weekend i got bored, i always thinking every second in my daily life, is this life that i want?

Or i just spending my time living in life as usual. I don't know, i just wanna find my passion. As i know that people usually find their passion in school time, when their graduated, and entry college time. But me, i am in my working time. I have a good-prestige job as a banker. I have a great salary. I enjoy every day with reading a great books, eating a nice food, shopping or just walking around in plaza. I have a nice office partner. I have (office) car that everyday i can use. I have house that my office borrow for me. But i feel uncomplete. I feel empty. I just lost my passion. Passion that make me passionate everyday after wake up.

I have a dream to working at home and raising my future children everyday, watching every step of their grow, teaching them everything, sleeping with them, playing with them, drawing, cooking, telling story, i will do all my best, all my knowledge, most of my time spending with them (even now i starting my pregnancy program).

I always getting jealous after reading some of blogs from outside Indonesia. I can't imagine how mother around the world can doing so much fun with their family at home, make money from home, travelling alot, have a huge dream house, have a car, even i didn't see they are going to work to office. It is so different with my country. Every women or mother should go to work to office for make money. I can't tell job beside doctor, banker, architect, nurse, enterpreneur, seller, lecture, teacher, okey now i can't tell it anymore. I just know that there only job in office. I didn't have an idea how can people make money from home, because i want to. It reminds me of Diana Rikasari fashion blogger who rise her child by herself without nanny and still can make money from home.

Buy a house is every women dream including me. I wanna have that one dream house. But house is very expensive, we have to saving alot or borrowing money from bank and pay it regularly. With my salary, i should pay about 15-20 years to pay it all. And it cost a quarter of my salary. How come i have a house without working at office everyday?

My job consequency is every year/ 2 years i should move to another city. It is our (me and my husband) homework how to running our marriage if we live separately because of my job. Imagine that, a month before we are getting married, i should move to another city because my job promotion. So, from our first day of marriage until now we have a long distance relationship. We meet every 2 weeks or more only on saturday and sunday. It is makes me tired. I just wanna enjoy my marriage normally.

I don't know maybe other woman/ mother out there have a same story with me. It was so good to write all of this. Some of my -always-thinking things. I hope you a great day all ♥

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